mesilliac

i remember all my follies, all my falls, all my failures, all my petty mistakes, all the times i led you on, my friends, all the lies you fed me on, my friends, i recall: i recall every tenderness, every thanks, every coy smile, every thoughtful gift, every loving lesson taught, my friends, every daft venture wrought, my friends, but also: i revile your waywardness, your hatreds, your wickedness, your wretched conceit, your toxic bickering moods, my friends, your old suppurating feuds, my friends, i revile: all that which i remember. which i love, which i dislike, which i avidly detest, which i won't ever, despite appearance… which i

Grumbling from shadows he went mumbling from gradients he repents killing the colours of his dreams, his thoughts, his memories wandering down halls of stone, echoing sentiment, sediment i shine a bright light ever thru reaching, grasping, crawling from me near you your sleeping form keeps me awake looking at your face, your shape, your twist your unchanging solidity are you me? Am i your temporary soliloquy?

leaving, i'm leaving my leaves behind. lost loaves feeding crumbs to mice in other lands. crawling on my belly thru the loam, longing for distance, its length rolling, coiling into my strength. my breath freezes along the breadth of my loathing, its short spikes spurn me on, the sandy grit of my own spittle renders tempers brittle by the broken dawn drawn on. one heart, one lathe, ten long bony fingers bend brawn into being, fling fawning, seething luck away. lingering feelings burn, like all your loyal letters. i left you too late, life's last loss alluvial.

they push, they scrape, they fill it till it breaks. they gobble fat, expand to fit, let their jelly bubble, foam and bake till it takes the shape of their surround. i tire. those who keep space find it encroached, all warnings just shots fired at breaking waves, the most valuable of all possessions poached by those numb enough to devour even emptiness.

shy child hold my hand away from pride this time, fly your present, a soul-swept pennant, away with thoughts of mine. my day elaborates, elongates, way behind the mess we call consideration. why care, deliberate, wait, awaiting all commiseration? by one measure i left you alone, the night nipping at your heels. tie my pendant to your wrist, my flight with yours, intone: hold, stay, curse the day, illuminate the right wisdom folding loving true belief towards the wards of fate. the safety i held in place for you, of consternation, of misplaced misery, our souls slowly, fitfully, fretfully progress.

i open up the book i checked out from the library to find that someone has filled it with scribbles. they did think to use pencil, so thanking them for being considerate, i get to erasing. i rub out all the lines joining evident couplets, the circles around components of rhyme, the dashes denoting rhythm, and the numbers counting syllabic metre, but i leave the small five-pointed stars indicating favourites. later i find that my library card has been revoked. The Book which you have Returned has been Determined by our Automated Scanning System to have been Physically Modified while Checked Out by this Card leading to Indefinite Suspension