literature

Don't Think

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Literature Text

She said don't do it,
think of your family, she said.

So I think of my father,
 beat me with a cricket bat
 when he lost $10,000 to the horses,
 lay on his sterile hospital bed
 dying, said he loved me
 as i walked out the door.

Walked in to find my mother
 lying on the kitchen floor
 holding the stillborn bloody mess
   she called my brother,
 she bled her life out there
 while the ambulance saved somebody else.

Think of your friends, she said.

So I think of my only friend,
 a dog called Jake,
 ran away when I was 9,
 the scared looks and whispers
 of the kids at school,
 a teacher who said he was sorry
 as he put his sweaty hand on my shoulder,
 I never went back.

Think of hope, there's always hope,
she says as she starts to cry.

And the only hope I can think of
 is that the sky will black out
 and the world fall down in silence,
 that the knife in my pocket
 can take all my blood away.

Think of me, she says.

And as I look into closed eyes
 the sky turns black.
As I close my hand on hers
 the world falls down.
Behind those closed eyes
 lies a pain I'll never know.
And in my closed palm lies...

lies...
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